So, WHEN are we going to have a baby?

When are you and your husband going to have children?




   Maybe someone needs to add that to the list of other questions you shouldn't ask people, along with, "when is your baby due?" and "How much money do you make in a year?"


  I realize I'm probably going to offend some people here. People that are reading this have probably asked this question.   Of course these people who ask this question don't mean to cause any harm. They don't mean to be rude, but sometimes it is just that, rude.

  I cannot count how many times we have been asked this question. Frankly, it is nobody's business but who we want to share it with. I was quite set back by the amount of "congratulations" proceeding the month after wedding, followed by, "So when are y'all going to have a baby?" Some people literally ask us this every time we see them.

 The decision to have a baby is an immensely personal question between a husband and wife. Not between you, your husband, and that lady that has talked to you maybe three times since you've worked at the same company together for the past five years.


I think I speak for myself, along with MANY other young women who are newly weds, engaged, or have even been married for more than five years.

 STOP. STOP ASKING WHEN WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY.

   There are many reasons why people may not chose to have a baby. Maybe both or one of them are still in school. Maybe they don't want to have to worry about buying diapers, formula, and paying for tuition. Maybe they just don't feel like they have enough money at the time for their selves, much less a baby. Before you say the stupid line about, "If you wait to have a baby when you have enough money, you will never have one!", they are being responsible. That opinion is irrelevant unless you would like to pay their mortgage and car payment. Maybe that couple who have been married for five years have been trying for the past two years. Maybe their week is filled with peeing on sticks to see if they are even ovulating, and then disappointment when they take another pregnancy test with that one lonely pink line. Maybe they pray every night together that God will bless them with a baby this month, and are hoping this is THE MONTH. Maybe they had a miscarriage two months ago, and every time you ask it is like a knife to their heart again. "What are the odds of that?", you ask. Well it is not a zero percent chance, so don't ask. Maybe they just found out last week that they can't have a baby and are lead to IVF or adoption and are struggling with that decision. Maybe, they don't want children. Children aren't for everyone. Maybe they are still sending out thank-you cards from their wedding because they literally got married thirty days ago.


So for the love of The Lord, and all that is good, please stop asking this question.

We still friends? Great! I cannot wait to chat about the weather the next time we see each other!

Lauren